The Oxonion

The Oxford tradition that drives me crazy
Dropping the ‘t’ in ‘kept’ - it’s just dam right lazy
Another one is ”Oooooh I tell a lie”
I know you didn’t? - So, I ask why?

My real bug bear is ‘years and years and years’
One years enough - I’d be bored to tears!
It’s almost like I have predictive text?
Always knowing - what’s coming next

It should be ‘he does’ - but you say “he do?”
Why they say it though,? it’s nothing new
Politely listening until the end
Though secretly - drives me round the bend

Was it Tuesday? No, I’m sure it was Thursday?
What difference does it make? Whatever the day?
“I think it was one time in summer or, was it in spring”
Does it really alter the news - that you bring?

The Oxonian accent is half posh and half yokel
Depends where you live - and whether you’re local
Deeper in the sticks they say ‘’alright you’’
Much more friendly though give em their due

‘Ere you boy and ”our mum and dad”
‘the old dear’ to me though sounds particularly sad
Only an Oxonian would know the aunt sally game
Everyone else - well would call you insane!!

Another one is ‘haven’t seen em for yonks’
Don’t they know? They sound like gonks!!
A normal conversation is clearly out of reach
When you’re talking indecipherable Oxonian speech!

kim hicks gmail.com May 2020©️

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