The scratch card

Me and my Kev!
Scratch card



We had our ups and downs - life was quite hard
Till Kev came running in, clutching a lottery card!
‘We’ve only been and won a holiday’ - in a luxury resort!
Never in a million years!! Well, who’d have thought!!!


We were jumping around, clearly over the moon
When can we go? not a moment too soon!
So excited and much to our delight
Didn’t even have to book our flight!


Just the tonic, after my Kevs affair
We usually go to Magaluf, with Ryanair
Never really stayed at one of these posh resorts
I’ll pack my Kev’s, Union Jack shorts


A really posh hotel, all marble and chrome
The next 2 x weeks - this is our home!
We’ll get this lot in a party mood
It’s as much as you like, all the drink and food


Would never usually eat as much as this
But, it’s all for free - too good to miss!
We caused quite a stir by the pool
Yes, we were loud and the language was blue


A few more snakebites now, we’re on the lash
I jumped in the pool causing quite a splash
My Kev really packs quite a punch
In his flag of England swimming trunks!


What a load of miseries, with no sense of fun?
Nobody sat with us, as we lounged in the sun
They made a complaint about the noise
As we frolicked in the pool, with our inflatable toys


Night time we do like to have a good drink
When it’s free, you tend to have more than you think
Kev’s so attractive, it makes me insecure
All the women fancy him - this, I am sure


I caught a group of woman eyeing up my Kev
Well, after a skin full, I could only see red!
I ran across the room and knocked over their table
They scrambled away - and got up, if were able


The manager was Informed and security were called
Me and my Kev were manhandled and hauled
We retired to our room, carried on being appalling
Removed from the hotel, the very next morning


Can’t understand why? such miserable sods?
Me and my Kev - have bodies like gods!
Stay in hotels in future, that we fit in well
It just couldn’t be us? The family from hell?

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